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Wot gets me goat, though? Them snobs who reckon it’s low-class. Oi, mate, loosen up! Had me ragin’ once—some toff in Westminster bangin’ on about “decency,” while I’m like, “Bruv, chill, it’s just a massage with extras!” Happy as a pig in muck, I’d be, sprawled out, oil drippin’, some bird whisperin’ sweet nothings. Surprised me, too—didn’t expect it’d be so… posh-like? Thought it’d be all seedy, but nah, some places are swanky—marble floors, the lot!

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I grab some bread and head outside. I’m handing out samples, and people are loving it! I’m feelin’ like the king of Velsen-Zuid. Kids are running up, asking for more. I’m like, “Sure, but only if you do a little dance!” And they do! It’s hilarious.

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